Melbourne Trip...the way down ...
It was with some trepidation that yet again I found myself on a plane to Melbourne. Here I was in the airport. My friend kindly took me to the airport at 5am in the morning and I was feeling rather relaxed given I had taken 1.5 mg Ativan. I felt the cougar lurking in my mind.. everytime I got nervous, I heard it roar. I knew I was only having ‘thoughts’.. thoughts that were not positive, creative or that would amount to anything simply because I refused to entertain them… but they were there, very much there… I let them pass through my mind, like trains through a station.. as soon as one came in… I would feel the physical effect in my body, I would tighten the area, then release, say relax, and dismiss the thought.. I was starting to understand mind-power… when to entertain thoughts and when not to entertain thoughts.. especially since thoughts can become things, and sometimes we don’t want those things that our thoughts are producing… (sound like a mad-woman.. you are prolly right).. I have done enough self-talk the last few weeks to warrant a place in a sanitarium FULL-TIME! J
At check-in, the lady told me that the air-tickets had not been ‘booked’ in spite of the e-voucher I had in my hand. The plane had started boarding and I was in a bit of a spin.. talk about stress-city.. I felt the tears just beneath the surface as I dialled the number on the voucher. Luckily, the ticket number was supplied by a very calm voice on the other end of the line. By this time, the check-in lady said: “Its too late to check in your baggage, you might have to take the next flight”. In my mind I suddenly saw myself being late for the meeting in Melbourne, my baggage landing up on another plane, and I was already geared up to go on this flight, the tears literally bounced out of my eyes onto my cheeks and I heard myself saying: “Please just let me get on this flight”… She saw I wasn’t’ mucking around, and she said, “Oh just take it on the plane, it’s small enough, but hurry”..
A quick goodbye and I boarded the plane. As I stepped into the plane, I felt like it was a rather ordinary experience, and I found that I was in seat 11C… quite close to the front of the 737. The 737 has a 3-3 seat configuration and I found the ascent into the air to be a lot ‘tighter’ than the 767. The 767 feels like a banana heaving off a launch pad… I sat in between two ladies and I got chatting to the one to the right of me. She seemed really pleasant and was travelling to Melbourne to the day to meet with a client as part of her HR consultancy. I massaged her hands and we nattred about all sorts of manner of things.. I felt the cougar creep up a couple of times but then I got out the iPhone and played my favourite game, Tetris…
The flight was definitely longer and we went into a holding pattern, I felt myself saying:
“Oh God, why this, why now? I am doing so well, why does the flight have to be any longer than it is…” but then I noticed the Tetris bricks were catching up on me and I had to do something about that.. soon we touched down, and I instantly felt lighter. I floated into the taxi and nattered away until we reached the ParkView hotel. I dropped my luggage for storage by the concierge and the taxi drove me down the road to the office. I noticed the tree-lined streets and the air seemed a little crisper than Brizzy but overall it was rather refreshing.. I hopped out the taxi, feeling like a real business traveller, and disappeared in the building with my laptop and handbag, looking very much the part.
It was great to see everyone I had been speaking to for months by phone in the Melbourne office and I was abuzz, it had been a big day for me, but a quiet celebration because what I considered as conquering my worst nightmare fears was ‘everyday’ for everyone else. I celebrated with a cuppa tea and a biscuit….
Next Melbourne – the way back… to follow….
